“The Case of Sober Buffoons” Andrey Belyanin. Andrey Belyanin - the case of sober buffoons About the book “The Case of Sober Buffoons” Andrey Belyanin

Name: Ivashov Nikita Ivanovich. Position: head of the first police department of the city of Lukoshkin, or, in local terms, detective voivode. I was born and raised in Moscow, I came here to this semi-fairy-tale kingdom-state by accident, I couldn’t return, I got used to it within a year and I don’t bother going anywhere anymore. I work in my specialty, have successfully formed a well-coordinated team and even unraveled several high-profile cases. The whole team lives in Baba Yaga’s mansion, the same old lady. In terms of economy and forensic work, she has no equal, but her character is like that of all pensioners, with bends and differences. Mitka also bends horseshoes with his fingers, hammers nails into his forehead, and I usually forbid him to use his head to move his brains. The guy’s imagination is too wild, it’s not recommended to let it out on people without a straitjacket. Otherwise, he is a classic junior police officer.

On our website you can download the book “The Case of Sober Buffoons” Andrey Olegovich Belyanin for free and without registration in fb2, rtf, epub, pdf, txt format, read the book online or buy the book in the online store.

Name: Ivashov Nikita Ivanovich. Position: head of the first police department of the city of Lukoshkin, or, in local terms, detective voivode. I was born and raised in Moscow, I came here to this semi-fairy-tale kingdom-state by accident, I couldn’t return, I got used to it within a year and I don’t bother going anywhere anymore. I work in my specialty, have successfully formed a well-coordinated team and even unraveled several high-profile cases.

The whole team lives in Baba Yaga’s mansion, she’s an old lady... In terms of housekeeping and forensic work, she has no equal, but her character is like that of all pensioners, with bends and differences.

Mitka also bends horseshoes with his fingers, hammers nails into his forehead, and I usually forbid him to use his head to move his brains. The guy’s imagination is too wild, it’s not recommended to let it out on people without a straitjacket. Otherwise, he is a classic junior police officer.

The squad also has Foma Eremeev’s Streltsy Hundred, which includes a mobile cavalry rapid response group. I also wanted to approve a special detachment, such as “Alpha,” but I didn’t have time - the capital was overwhelmed by structural changes that began after the marriage of Tsar Gorokh...

Name: Ivashov Nikita Ivanovich. Position: head of the first police department of the city of Lukoshkin, or, in local terms, detective voivode. I was born and raised in Moscow, I came here to this semi-fairy-tale kingdom-state by accident, I couldn’t return, I got used to it within a year and I don’t bother going anywhere anymore. I work in my specialty, have successfully formed a well-coordinated team and even unraveled several high-profile cases.

The whole team lives in Baba Yaga’s mansion, she’s an old lady... In terms of housekeeping and forensic work, she has no equal, but her character is like that of all pensioners, with bends and differences.

Mitka also bends horseshoes with his fingers, hammers nails into his forehead, and I usually forbid him to use his head to move his brains. The guy’s imagination is too wild, it’s not recommended to let it out on people without a straitjacket. Otherwise, he is a classic junior police officer.

The squad also has Foma Eremeev’s Streltsy Hundred, which includes a mobile cavalry rapid response group. I also wanted to approve a special detachment, such as “Alpha,” but I didn’t have time - the capital was overwhelmed by structural changes that began after the marriage of Tsar Gorokh...

Andrey Belyanin

The case of sober buffoons

"To the chief and detective governor

Lukoshkinsky police department

Ivashov Nikita Ivanovich

PETITION STATEMENT

Dear father! Let your soul go to repentance, for which I will pray to God for you all my life. My heart is tired, my zealous heart is sick, and on my mind there are only pictures of my naked childhood: there is my mother beating the laundry with a roller, there are the neighbors’ kids riding down the hill on their butts, and there I myself have been putting colorful eggs in my bosom since Easter, I haven’t been caught by the ear... But only You see for yourself how great my grief is, greyhound and bark! Show Christian compassion from here, otherwise young life is not sweet to me. Therefore, I remain eternally yours, obedient slave and junior employee,

I slowly re-read the yellowish paper, genuinely surprised to myself at the absence of grammatical errors. I probably rewrote it five or six times. Concentrated Mityai, standing in the middle of the room on his knees, continued to methodically bow, as if hoping to starve me out. Yaga was not at home - it turns out that I will have to figure it out myself, but I don’t want to...

- Well, what does all this mean?

- Don’t destroy me, dear father!

- And I’m not going to... Mitya, doesn’t your forehead hurt? Look, the cups are already bouncing on the table.

“There is no forgiveness for me, neither human nor divine, but I will only stand on my own ground...” he answered adamantly, looking up for a moment from his main occupation. Actually, the floors in the mansion are oak, but the guy’s head is made of cast iron, and by God, he’ll break the floorboards...

– Did clerk Philemon advise you to write a request? Mitya, please don’t knock, the chips are already flying... I’ll sign your leave, and I’ll sign it like that, just calm down! Let’s deal with the horse thieves and... Mitya, I asked!

No, he can also be understood. We have been “dealing with these thieves” for a week now. And it’s no big deal, but... we’re stuck in it, like children in plasticine! What's the problem? And in the king! Or rather, in Mother Queen and her cultural transformations... No, I’m already laughing myself, but let me start from the beginning, in order, as it should be.

Name: Ivashov Nikita Ivanovich. Position: head of the first police department of the city of Lukoshkin, or, in local terms, detective voivode. I was born and raised in Moscow, I came here to this semi-fairy-tale kingdom-state by accident, I couldn’t return, I got used to it within a year and I don’t move anywhere anymore. I work in my specialty, have successfully formed a well-coordinated team and even unraveled several high-profile cases.

The whole team lives in Baba Yaga’s mansion, she’s an old lady... In terms of housekeeping and forensic work, she has no equal, but her character is like that of all pensioners, with bends and differences.

Also Mitka, this one, bends horseshoes with his fingers, hammers nails in with his forehead, I usually forbid him to use his head to move his brains. The guy’s imagination is too wild, it’s not recommended to let it out on people without a straitjacket. Otherwise, he is a classic junior police officer.

The squad also has Foma Eremeev’s Streltsy Hundred, which includes a mobile cavalry rapid response group. I also wanted to approve a special detachment, such as “Alpha,” but I didn’t have time - the capital was overwhelmed by structural transformations.

Let's go from afar. Peas are a generally good person. Smart, smart, active, maybe sometimes hot-tempered, eccentric (who doesn’t?), but overall a normal Russian autocrat! This winter he got married to us. All the people persuaded him, brides came to the court from almost all over the world. Well, this and that, the guys and I managed to uncover one not weak conspiracy of an Austrian diplomat, somehow save everyone, and as a result the sovereign got married successfully. Successful means both for love and for political reasons. From now on, Lydia Adolphine Karpoffhausen, Princess of Austria, appeared in our city. She is also, in general, quite a nice person, however... somewhat orderly. And they didn’t notice it right away...

We thought that her German blood would not allow her to get involved in state affairs, in accordance with the principle absorbed with her mother’s milk: “Kinder, Küche, Kirche” - that’s all. Children, a kitchen, a church as a place of communication - ideally, Pea doesn’t need anything else from her. Alas, Lidochka turned out to be a disciplined girl, respecting order, but demanding that everyone else respect this order. Nothing too impossible... so... little by little... little by little, starting with your favorite police station.

Previously, when we catch a thief, robber or murderer, we write a report and go to prison. There, the sovereign's servants will consider the case and move forward - to the fullest extent of the law. Now they don’t... Now they have lawyers, lawyers, a jury trial, and the criminal is humanely released on bail or on his own recognizance. Everything is like in civilized Europe! There are no words, only mate...

Let's go back to the same horse thieves. There were two of them who entered the department’s territory at night, stealing Sivka-burka, and Mitka sleeping in the hayloft. There is no need to tell further... Given his love for the “mistress horse,” try to guess three times what he did with the kidnappers. Formulations like “killed on the spot!” to be passed over as unjustifiably humane... The next morning, both were handed over to the torture order, compactly packed in a barrel of sauerkraut. And at lunchtime we were informed that the scoundrels had been released “due to insufficient evidence” and they were already filing a complaint about “police brutality”! How to work in such conditions, I ask you?! Out of grief, Mitka began to ask to go on vacation to the village to visit his mother, to treat his frayed nerves with fresh milk. And in my department there are a damn dozen open but unclosed cases! Well, how do you like our democratic transformations?..

- Nikitushka, here I come! “Baba Yaga, the shame, honor and conscience of our department, limped into the upper room. – Are you still working on reports, dear? You probably haven’t eaten yet, are you waiting for me? Mitenka, you should go unload the cart, I bought all sorts of fresh things at the market.

- Grandma, can’t you see that I’m busy!

“I see, I see, killer whale, you’re hitting the floor with your forehead again...” Yaga sighed pitifully. - But it’s all the same - stop and go! Don’t bring me to sin, old one...

“Threats to a police officer, abuse of power, use of a fellow officer for other than its intended purpose,” the killer muttered habitually, but he went on, having behind him a vivid experience of short disputes with our grandmother.

Yaga carefully sat down on the bench, fanning herself with a handkerchief, and the cat Vasily, lifting one eyelid, reported to his mistress with a lazy yawn that everything was in order at home. That's right, I'm the only one in a mess...

– At weddings – I was!

“So to the point...” Yaga said, slowly putting down the samovar. - This is when Tanya Bakulina was given in marriage, and the groom was small and timid, so his friends, for the sake of laughter, got everyone so drunk that the priest almost drowned the bride in the baptismal font, and married the groom and his father-in-law in an embrace... Father Kondrat then personally policed called. Just don’t lead me around the crooked birch tree in vain, that’s not what we were talking about. Enough for you to sit like a bastard!

- Grandma...

- And then people at the market are surprised out loud. “Paying absolutely no attention to my protests, Yaga thrust a saucer of royal gingerbread under my nose and affectionately patted the back of my head. “They say, isn’t our local police officer sick because he’s a woman who shrinks away like a rook from a scarecrow?” And not all of our girls are scary!

“Grandma, this topic is closed,” I somehow managed to insert. – I have one candidate, you know about it, so let’s not go from empty to empty...

- Well, spring is just around the corner! The month of May is just around the corner! Every toothless stump flourishes with daisies, but what about you?! So I’ll take care of you myself...

- In what sense?!

- Fuck you, Nikita, that’s what you’re wearing! – Unable to bear it, my housewife pouted.

I shrugged and reached for the second gingerbread. All these senseless squabbles are taking place only because, in all honesty, we have nothing better to do. Having slept off over the winter, crime was still stretching and yawning, without causing the police any particular trouble. Reports, reports, statements, and other writings were unnerving, of course, but still this is sedentary work. The Yeremeev boys dealt with minor offenses very well, peace and harmony were established in the Tsar’s palace, the Shamakhans did not disturb them with raids in the spring... Accordingly, there were no major problems.

Unless Koschey fled... So this was back in early April, and, according to the same Yaga, he won’t poke his nose at us in Lukoshkino, he’ll go home to build up the meat on the bones. If you exclude the work routine, then it’s just God’s grace all around, even if you quit the service and write your memoirs. Just look, clerk Filimon will announce the closure of the department “for reasons of unnecessary need”...

The case of sober buffoons Andrey Belyanin

(No ratings yet)

Title: The Case of Sober Buffoons
Author: Andrey Belyanin
Year: 2004
Genre: Detective fantasy, Popadantsy, Russian fantasy, Humorous fantasy

About the book “The Case of Sober Buffoons” Andrey Belyanin

Name: Ivashov Nikita Ivanovich. Position: head of the first police department of the city of Lukoshkin, or, in local terms, detective voivode. I was born and raised in Moscow, I came here to this semi-fairy-tale kingdom-state by accident, I couldn’t return, I got used to it within a year and I don’t bother going anywhere anymore. I work in my specialty, have successfully formed a well-coordinated team and even unraveled several high-profile cases.

The whole team lives in Baba Yaga’s mansion, she’s an old lady... In terms of housekeeping and forensic work, she has no equal, but her character is like that of all pensioners, with bends and differences.

Mitka also bends horseshoes with his fingers, hammers nails into his forehead, and I usually forbid him to use his head to move his brains. The guy’s imagination is too wild, it’s not recommended to let it out on people without a straitjacket. Otherwise, he is a classic junior police officer.

The squad also has Foma Eremeev’s Streltsy Hundred, which includes a mobile cavalry rapid response group. I also wanted to approve a special detachment, such as “Alpha,” but I didn’t have time - the capital was overwhelmed by structural changes that began after the marriage of Tsar Gorokh...

On our website about books lifeinbooks.net you can download and read online the book “The Case of Sober Buffoons” by Andrey Belyanin for free in epub, fb2, txt, rtf formats. The book will give you a lot of pleasant moments and real pleasure from reading. You can buy the full version from our partner. Also, here you will find the latest news from the literary world, learn the biography of your favorite authors. For beginning writers, there is a separate section with useful tips and tricks, interesting articles, thanks to which you yourself can try your hand at literary crafts.